1. The three eldest siblings (and stars) who are named after female icons:
Germaine the loquacious, lusty yet lacking in street smarts mini Caitlin. Mooning over the local yob, stopping just short of humping his leg, though keep her away from doors. And horses: “if I had sex with a horse I’d have a baby centaur”.
Aretha, the long suffering next-in-line sister, holding onto family sanity by a well worn thread- the go-to tech assistant and tampon wrangler.
And Yoko, who is having the worst day ever. Dead sea monkeys and first period. Bad combination.
2. Della, the fag smoking supermum on a budget, queen of the withering put downs and witty one liners:
“Dad, every time you tell me something about yours and mum’s sex life, a fairy gets it’s wings ripped off. You get me?”
“to be fair, you can’t be that sad about something that can’t be seen by the naked eye”
“we’re not southern twats and we’re not northern twats. We’re midlands twats”
3. Each cringe-worthy prelude to Grampy’s much talked of sexual rendezvous, accompanied by power ballads aplenty, preparing for his much talked of love-in to a power ballad soundtrack; ironing to Black Velvet and trimming toe hair to Total Eclipse of the Heart. Hot.
4.Nostalgia Value- who doesn’t remember inappropriate first crushes? Mourning the invisible sea monkeys? Devouring a giant Toblerone when you shed your first blood… or was that just Yoko and I?
5.Periods, teen crushes and vaginas. No part of the womanhood is off limits, the taboo elements of the feminine are finally allowed to be funny. Menstrual blood tackled in the same breath as geriatric relations. What more could you want?