GAME OF THRONES- SEASON 5 EPISODE 1- THE WARS TO COME

Winter has finally come. In April, sure, but the seven kingdoms have at last returned to the small screen. Thrones fever has not abated in the year since Tyrion’s dramatic patricidal finale, in fact it has grown- much like three dragons we all know…

The season opener is a deep dark fairy tale where the forests whisper secrets and families plot to destroy any glimpse of a happy ever after. The first scene is also our first ever flashback, and mini Cersai has definitely been practising her sneer.If you go down to the woods today little queen, you’re sure to hear something bad…

A Tyrion marinaded in wine and faeces (bon apetit) arrived in Pentos suitably peeved that not only has he been forced to kill his lover and father and run for his life, but, more importantly, that Varys has stolen all the best lines.

Cersai and Daenerys’ season debuts are a little disappointing for fans of the fiery queens. Dany’s luck is still in a downward spiral with harpy soldiers slaying unsullied and her chained dragons more than a little disgruntled. You can only pity a Khaleesi so long before you feel the stirrings of fiery frustration. Cersai is pissed of at the entire realm (no change there) but while her disdain may be a thing of wonder throughout Westeros, it does not spectacular scenes make. Think scene setting rather than scene smashing.

Post makeover Sansa has spliced together the best parts of the late great Cat and her hated almost mother-in-law to become a true force to be reckoned with. No longer does she blindly follow, meek and mild in monotony. Sassy Sansa is back, and living up to the promise of last season; welcome to the dark side lady Stark.

Margaery (aka queen of the raised eyebrow, Natalie Dormer) is also taking an interesting turn this season; hinting Cersai may not be the thorn to her rose much longer while pouting and smirking simultaneously- a true feat of multitasking.

Yet the winner of the premiere is unquestionably Jon Snow- the little bastard that could. The closing scene wins him the title of most-awesome-non-dwarf-male-left-standing. A great honour, I’m sure you’ll agree. Not only does he seem immune to the red lady’s charms (someone should be) but he refuses to obey Stannis’ more sadistic whims; death by fire may please the lord of light, but it doesn’t please the crowd, and Jon steals R’hllor’s thunder beautifully with his bolt from the blue.

The dragons are bigger, the shots more breathtaking, and the music continues to be the cherry on top of the, slightly bloody, cake, but a taste of Dorne would not have gone amiss, nor would a glimpse of everyone’s favourite psychopath in training- Arya. Yet nit picking disappointments aside, this gruesome fairy story is a page turner, and this latest chapter has finally convinced me that Jon Snow might know something after all….

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