Kit Harrington is the biggest liar in the seven kingdoms. Were he Pinocchio, his nose would reach all the way from the wall to Mereen. But there was more to this episode than Jon Snow’s resurrection (HE’S ALIVE), however it is difficult to recall what that ‘more’ is when jumping for joy and shrieking at the TV. Which I did not do. Obviously.

Aside from Lord Commander, Sansa has been the star of the season so far. Her transformation into a Catelyn-Cersei hybrid is thrilling. Her segment this episode was small, but her wry remarks on hearing that not only was her sister alive, but dressed as an urchin, were perfect. I also think it is important that Sansa’s saviour is not an armoured hero, but an armoured heroine.

Jamie’s interlude with the High Sparrow was intriguing. The Sparrow is a terrifying foe – a villain who believes himself the hero. Let us not forget Tommen, throne-holder du jour, who has surely signed his own death warrant by asking his mother for help. Cersei’s quiet rage combined with a recklessness born of the seer’s prophecy, make her even more deadly.

The Iron Islands finally made a reappearance, along with Balon (member of Tywin’s worst father’s of Westeros club) who exits soon after his entrance by the hand of the deliciously demented Euron .

Another parent meeting his maker this week was the turncoat Roose Bolton. I predicted that he would pay for underestimating his sadistic son, and their final embrace was a directiorial gem – I was sure one would die at the other’s hand, but for a second I did not know whose hands were clutching the knife. The less said about the demise of the deceased’s wife and newborn the better – they didn’t show the gore, but Ramsey’s expression was horror enough.

Arya is getting far better at pretending to be no-one, but before you give up the on the little Stark remember – needle remains hidden, as does her true self.

The Tyrion-is-a-Targaryen theory got a whole lot more credible this week, when our favourite dwarf showed us how to train a dragon. Tyrion’s dragon-charming childhood tale was so beautifully underplayed that I hung of his every word. As, apparently, did the dragons.

And so we come to the wall, where Tormund and Davos make a fearsome duo. Of course it does help that they have a giant (Wun Wun smash!). Davos’ pep talk to his former nemesis was unexpected and transfixing; the Onion Knight believes in people, not gods. Yet I fear Jon would still be stone cold if Melisandre’s incantations had not been followed a pious ‘please’.

HBO are the masters of delayed gratification – praise R’hllor that Ghost knew better than the disappointed crowd. Apparently dog still is man’s best friend, even after death.

Deaths- 5 (2 bad dads, one mother and baby, and one man who poked a giant.)

Direwolves – 1

Dragons – 2

Resurrections – 1!!!!!!!!

Nudity – None. This is Game of Thrones, right?


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