The day has finally dawned. Soggy bottoms beware, The Great British Bake off has returned! Fans of well-endowed squirrels and complicated puddings rejoice!

Many questions were raised by the first episode of season seven:
Is Val merely eccentric, or actually a little unhinged?

Is Selasi arrogant or simply one chilled dude?

How is Candice’s lipstick game so on point?

How come the Bake Off editors are suddenly obsessed with a pheasant?

And most importantly – where can I find jaffa cakes at this time of night?
As well as delicious calorie-filled concoctions and Mary’s effortless Paul put-downs (‘we don’t do that in the south you know’), Bake Off is also famous for it’s dirty sense of humour. Buns make way for puns, and this week was no different.

My top five this week were:

1.”Only 2 hours to achieve ultimate moistness”

2. “I’m gonna insert some custard – I’m gonna poke it in!”

3. “the drizzle absorbs, rather than runs straight down my little grooves”

4. “If you take them out too late they go really rubbery”

5. “Come into the Mel / Sue sandwich”

And finally, saving the best until last, the preview for episode 2 contained the following gem:

“Do you need a pair of warm hands? Either on your bag, or on you?”

Over-baked, or enjoyably saucy, I’m just glad Queen Berry is bake on our screens again. Now, as the lady once said, let me eat cake.


*yes I know the actual quote it let THEM eat cake, but THEY already had some, and why should THEY have all the fun?!*


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