Tyrion

DAENERYS TARGARYEN’S TOP 5 SEASON 6 MOMENTS – GAME OF THRONES COUNTDOWN

Rally the realm – only 1 day to go until we return to the bloody shores of Westeros, where the gods are old and new, where fear cuts deeper than swords, and where, inevitably, all men must die.

To celebrate the start of season 7, on each of the 7 days (see what I’m doing here) leading up to our return to the 7 kingdoms I will recap a character’s best bits of season 6 – a year when kings died, fire reigned and a girl was definitely someone.

*Season 6 spoilers – obviously*

Here are DAENERY’S TARGARYEN’S TOP 5 MOMENTS of season 6

Because naturally I save the best for last.

DAENERYS PLAYS WITH FIRE

The mother of dragons fears NOTHING. And she has heard allll those threats before guys. This Khaleesi is born to rule…and to burn the house down.

DAENERYS RETURNS TO HER DOTHRAKI ROOTS

This speech has a little of the mad king about it. I love that she rallies the troops, but she does sound a teeny bit tyrannical here – just enough to keep team Dani on our toes. I LOVE that she is back with the Dothraki again – they awakened her inner fire, and the mother of dragons needed reminding of her true self.

DAENERYS DOES NOT SURRENDER

I feel like they forgot she has dragons. Her? Surrender? I think not.

DAENERYS PICKS HER CHAMPION

First she dumps Daario (yay!) then she names our favourite drinking dwarf Hand of the Queen. A good day’s work Dani. Bravo. Did I cry when she handed Tyrion his pin? Nope, just something in my eye *sob*.

DAENERYS MEETS A FELLOW QUEEN

Every feminist bone in my body cheered at this scene. A true meeting of queens, both hoping rule better than their father’s before them. Here’s hoping their dreams come true, and that Yara survives her mad uncle, and Dani does not become the Mad Queen…tomorrow the story continues.

VALAR MORGHULIS

86 THOUGHTS I HAD WHILST WATCHING GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6 EPISODE 10 – THE WINDS OF WINTER

1.The Direwolf has returned to Winterfell! I have never been more excited during the opening credits.
2. Cersei is modelling her Disney villain look. This doesn’t bode well for Westeros.
3.Let us take a moment to appreciate the insane level on detail on Game of Thrones costumes.
4. If the seven gods chose the High Sparrow as their judge, I fear they belong to the dark side.
5. A gentle reminder that Pycelle is still an old lusty hypocrite.
6. DO NOT FOLLOW THE LITTLE BIRDS.
7. Margaery looks worried. That makes me scared.
8. Every shot is lit like a masterpiece in this episode.
9. The High Sparrow wasn’t mutilated – do as I say, not as I do, presumably.
10.‘You mutilated him, you gave me your word!’ I am comforted that Margaery didn’t sanction this legalised maiming.

HBO

HBO

11.The mountain bars the way of the King. Ominous is an understatement.
12.The queen mother? Drinking. Naturally.
13.Deep in the catacombs the plot is unveiled with old maesters and young murderers
14.‘This pains me my lord’ Qyburn, you are fooling no-one.
15.The innocent glee with which the urchins tear Pycelle apart is what nightmares are made of.
16.‘Forget about the bloody gods and listen to what I’m telling you’. RUN WOMAN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
17.Wildfire. oh Cersei, someone has been truly wicked
18.‘We all need to leave NOW’ – understatement.
19. The Sparrows bar the way to safety LET MARGAERY GO!!!!!!
20. The candle did not go out.
21. All is flames, green fire and screams.

HBO

HBO

22. Cersei is left, smiling on her hill. I see where Joffrey got it from now.
23. The revenge of the lioness – shame is repaid and the Septa drowns in wine
24. ‘I drink because it feels good, I killed my husband because it felt good to be rid of him, i fucked my brother because it feels good….I KILLED YOUR HIGH SPARROW BECAUSE IT FELT GOOD TO WATCH THEM BURN’ …well I guess she was told to confess…
25. I can’t quite muster sufficient sympathy for the victim, since she is just a different type of hateful.
26. Though I would wish the mountain on no-one,
27. The crown is too heavy for the boy king, but the beautifully framed window is perfect for an unflinching silent suicide.
28. Knew he wouldn’t last the season.

HBO

HBO

29. Oh Jamie, what company are you keeping?!
30. At least Bronn makes up for the excess of Freys.
31. How is Walder Frey skill alive?
32. ‘two kingslayers’ oh that’s a painful comparison.
33.’We gave you the River Lands… if we have to take them back for you every time you lose them what do we need you for?’ Well said Jamie. Stick the knife in.
34. No I mean literally.
35. Frey struck a nerve there – the demons of his nature would have him roll in the dirt with the Freys, but his better angels would hark back Brienne, a true oathkeeper.

HBO

HBO

36. SAM! Well met sir!
37. The Citadel landscape is breathtaking – all curves and light.
38. A welcome dose of humour lights up the dark night full of terrors: ‘this is irregular’ ‘I suppose that life is irregular’ you tell him Slayer.
39. Sam gets his very own Beauty and the Beast moment in the library.
40. Finally Winterfell feels like home again.
41. Davos is angry. You should’t make Davos angry.
42. ‘If he commands you to burn children, your Lord is evil’. Davos is one of the stars of this season: A voice of passionate reason amid hellish chaos.
43. The pained new Lord of Winterfell is as just as his father before him. No more blood, only exile.

HBO

HBO

44. It feels important that Jon admits this was Sansa’s victory.
45. But also that she apologises for not trusting him. Because you can’t trust Littlefinger, let’s face it..
46. ‘Winter is here!’ well it’s been a long time coming. The shared Stark smile warms the snow covered spires of the Stark homeland.
47.What could make Dorne pallatable? Oh I know, Diana Rigg! She can fix everything!
48. That is how I like to think the meeting at HBO went
49. And incidentally they are right. She can: ‘you look like an angry little boy, don’t presume to tell me what I need’ you tell them Olenna!

HBO

HBO

50.’Cersei stole the future from me…’ RIP Margaery. The others are no great loss.
51. Enter the Eunuch, invoking the Targarryen words. Goosebumps
52. Good riddance to Daario. He lowered the tone of Dany’s rule with oily contrived charm. Drogo forever.
53. So who will Dany gift with marital alliance? *cough* Jon *cough*
54. The bay of Dragons has a nice ring to it.
55. I’m not sure I have ever seen Tyrion sympathetic before.
56. Small people cast great shadows in the pyramid- literally and figuratively.
57. ‘I said no thank you to belief, and yet here I am, I believe in you’ finally some good lines for Tyrion – my heart may burst.
58. The dialogue between these two has always been a true meeting of the minds.
59.’ I had something made for you, I’m not sure if it’s right’ HAND OF THE QUEEN, HAND OF THE QUEEN!!!!!!

HBO

HBO

60. The dwarf only bows to the deserving.
61. The dirty murderer himself, Walder Frey enters the tale once more.
62. Someone baked Frey pie – I prefer my Freys cooked. And I’m vegetarian.
63. ‘My name is Arya Stark’ of course it is. A girl took some faces for the road.
64. And the great deceiver faces the same death as his victim Catelyn Stark, as her vengeful daughter smiles on.

HBO

HBO

65. ‘It’s a pretty picture’ Sansa is no longer the mouse to Baelish’s feline, and damns him with faint praise.
66.Sansa’s cynicism may keep her head above the winter for some time yet – she doesn’t rise to the puppeteers bait.
67. I still haven’t forgiven Bran for Hodor.
68. The Tower of Joy – Part 2! They kept us waiting long enough.
69.The truth is revealed, with two long lost Starks over a bloody birthing bed.
70. The mystery is resolved. Promise me. R + L= J.

HBO

HBO

71. I KNEW IT! The baby’s eyes open on the man’s face.
72. Notice Jon calls the Wildlings the ‘Free Folk’ – Ygritte’s legacy.
73. All hail Lyanna Mormont queen of EVERYTHING.
74. How can someone so small have such stage presence?
75. They refused the call and she judges them for it. The old cowards are shamed by a little girl.
76. Of course they all side with Jon now – LYANNA MORMONT COMMANDED IT
77. The White Wolf, King in the North – Oh the echoes of Robb are traumatising – let us hope this version of the brother’s story ends well.
78. It should – the White Wolf is wiser than the young wolf, after all.
79. His destiny will always outweigh his ambition.
80. No Sansa. If you let Littlefinger ruin this victory I do not like your chances for season 7.
81. Not the welcome home Jamie was expecting.
82. The disney villain is crowned in all her terror and glory. Castalmere plays for the inevitable doom this brings.

HBO

HBO

83. ‘long may she reign’ i doubt it
84.. Dany is finally setting sail! The pigs are flying with the dragons!
85. Her power is jawdropping. Only a dwarf stands between her and Targarryen madness, only a mad queen stands between her and the iron throne.
86. Winter is here, but dragons are coming.

39 THOUGHTS I HAD WHILST WATCHING GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6 EPISODE 9 – THE BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS

1. OK. So this is the big one. Sadist versus Snow.
2. Jon can’t die AGAIN right?
3. Wait – MEREEN?!
4. We get TWO battles?! Oh HBO you spoil us.
5. Let us take a minute to admire Dany’s braid-work in a time of crisis.
6. The dwarf tempers the less attractive Targaryen qualities – perhaps the madness can be tempered by reason in a small package?
7. Those Masters are far to smug to stay alive .Plus no one owns Grey Worm. He is a free elf! I mean- man.
8. The slavers should probably not have forgotten she owns dragons. Three of them.

HBO

HBO

9. Oh, and also she has a Dothraki horde at her beck and call – horses beat harpies, every time.
10. We should probably take a minute to appreciate how amazing grey worm is *appreciative silence*
11.The North is an icy oil painting
12. ‘You don’t have to be here’ ‘yes I do’ you tell him, Sansa.
13. Lyanna Mormont’s scowl is a weapon of mass destruction.

HBO

HBO

14. Honour and righteousness meet cunning and bloodlust.
15. But Jon can be cunning too: ‘will your men want to fight for you, when they hear you wouldn’t fight for them?’
16. Sansa doesn’t feel the cold. She IS the cold: ‘you’re going to die tomorrow Lord Bolton. Sleep well’.
17. Jon explaining military tactics to Tormund is precious.
18. Sansa is taking down the patriarchy one man at a time: ‘did it ever once occur to you that I might have some insight?!’
19. He would do well to listen to his little sister. Jon has seen hell, sure, but Sansa has lived it.
20. ‘We’ll never get him back…he won’t live long’ harsh, but I am not betting on Rickon surviving the episode.
21. ‘Has the Iron Islands ever had a queen before?’ ‘No more than Westeros’. well played, Yara. Welcome to the kick-ass queen mutual appreciation society.

HBO

HBO

22. ‘I never demand but I’m up for anything really’ – the queen is amused.
23. Can you feel the love in this pyramid?
24. Back at the battlefield, Ramsey’s games are about to begin.
25. The sadist drags the littlest direwolf out to ‘play’

HBO

HBO

26. ‘Don’t!’ Tormund knows better, Sansa warned him, but Jon falls hook line and sinker.
27. What follows is a tangle of flailing hooves, broken bodies and howling screams.
28. Jon is crushed by bodies, choking for life, drowning among the dead
29. The trampled hero choses to live! Praise the old gods and the new!

HBO

HBO

30. Tormund gets a second wind as Sansa brings a saving grace over the hilltops.
31. Now Ramsey is the hunted. He looks less than amused.
32. The she-wolf that Sansa has become smells blood and starts to smile
33. Notice the shield Snow uses to deflect Ramsey’s final futile attack features the Mormont bear – little Lyanna will be pleased
34. Only Sansa’s flinty expression makes Lord Snow put vengeance on pause.
35. Ramsey is even smug in defeat – ‘I’m part of you now’ Ye gods I hope not.
36. It shouldn’t be this satisfying to see a man eaten face-first by his own hounds.
37. And yet it is.
38. Sansa’s smile as she walks away is everything.

HBO

HBO

39. Long live the She-wolf!

Dragons – ALL THREE! Dracarys slaver scum!
Direwolves – None, which is probably for the best as no-one wants any more canine deaths.
Nudity – No time for naughty business during the battle.
Deaths – Oh thousands. Happily, though, the hounds are now fed.

58 THOUGHTS I HAD WHILST WATCHING GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6 EPISODE 8 ‘NO ONE’

1.Opening with Essie Davis is always a good idea.
2.If this Cersei were the real Cersei Kings Landing would be a happier place.
3.So it stands to reason that the bloody little stark would hide behind her curtains.
4.I have a feeling this motherly actress is too nice to live.

HBO

HBO

5.Oh the brutal brotherhood. Really? Still alive? Disappointing.
6.YES the Hound returns – armed and dangerous- they’re not laughing now.
7.Slaughter probably shouldn’t be so satisfying.
8.‘You’re shit at dying you know that’ – the Hound and Bronn get all the best lines.
9.The Eunuch’s departure does not bode well for Tyrion.
10.Who is Varys heading to for help? The Tyrells? The Dornish?
11.Remember Dorne? I try not to.
12.Cersei’s following has grown rather small – creepy Qybern and the Franken-Mountain.

HBO

HBO

13.Wow Lancel may be just as repulsive as Tommen – weakness masquerading as righteousness.
14.‘You have a keen military mind pod’ Brienne, queen of the sardonic put-down.
15.Bronn and Pod the reunion! T shirts will be made.
16.The first rule of Bronn’s Fight Club is – fight dirty.
17.Brienne is the good knight on Jamie’s soldier.
18.Sadly he listens to his sister and inner demons.
19.She sees the good in him, but he is blind to it.
20.She tries to return his sword – I may cry.

HBO

HBO

21.He’s not my friend – oh Brienne, who are you kidding.
22.‘She’s exactly like her mother’ let’s hope Sansa stays alive longer than Cat …
23.I do love the Blackfish’s spirit – even if his attitude to the siege is rather kamikaze.
24.Cersei’s uncle may not be on her Christmas list this year ‘your place is in the gallery’
25.‘From this day forward trial by combat will be forbidden’ wow, Tommen is challenging Joffrey for worst son in Westeros.
26.The ‘old rumour’ the little birds are chirping of to Qyburn – would it be to do with wildfire?
27.Meerenese Tyrion continues to be defined by his alcoholism.
28.Although his argument that Grey Worm is obeying his masters by abstaining is clever.
29.‘The Imp’s Delight’ sounds like a name for something rather more sinister than wine…
30.The outlook for Missandei and Grey Worm’s comedy career is bleak
31.…and the (rather forced) laughter is interrupted by an invading slaver fleet, naturally.
32.Tobias Menzies (Edmure) is one of the greatest actors of modern TV ( see Outlander).

HBO

HBO

33.He shows more spirit when captive than he ever did free ‘how do you live with yourself?’
34.‘Don’t talk about Cat’ – and my Stark-loving heart breaks just a little more.
35.Jamie truly has returned to the dark side. He wears it well though.
36.And so Riverrun falls, suddenly yet inevitably, due to Lannister cunning and sworn loyalties.
37.It’s like Ned Stark all over again.
38.You’ll serve Sansa far better than I ever could – well why not fight for her TOGETHER then?!!!
39.Is the Blackfish truly dead and buried? is this a Stannis or Hound situation?
40.The twilight escape of Brienne and Pod shows us a last glimpse of Jamie’s better qualities.

HBO

HBO

41.There is warmth in his heart, but his fist is still golden.
42.‘You do not know what the army should do’ – Grey Worm tells it like it is.
43.Dany’s home – and she doesn’t look impressed. Regal? Yes. Happy? Not so much.
44.Would it have killed Drogon to stick around a little longer? Burn a few slavers, like old times?
45.It is pleasing to learn the Brotherhood still have a good name.
46.I hope Sandor joins Thoros and Company – think of the witty repartee.
47.If this hanging party means Lady Stoneheart has been forsaken, I will mount an insignificant but highly impassioned protest.

HBO

HBO

48.And so the actress makes her final exit, thanks to the waif, who seems to be made of pure evil.
49.Farewell Lady Crane, you were too good for this world. Literally.
50.Is the House of Black and White really just a bunch of sadistic assassins? Why the pretence at spirituality then?!
51.The chase is incredible – I love the clumsiness of the spectacle.
52.More back alley brutality than James Bond glamour

HBO

HBO

53.No one should find murder this fun
54.Unless they are killing Joffrey of course.
55.A girl doesn’t need eyes to see, and doesn’t need light to kill
56.Goodbye and good riddance to the Waif.

HBO

HBO

57.‘A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell, and I’m going home’ : cue cheering, dancing and general jubilation
58. A man can put it in his pipe and smoke it – the Stark is back, and though she is little she is mighty.

NUDITY – None
DEATH – Lady Crane (Boo) the Waif (Yay) plus assorted murderers.
DRAGONS – One, ever so briefly.
DIREWOLVES – None, but then there aren’t many left…

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6 EPISODE 5 – THE DOOR

All hail Sansa, survivor of psychopaths, and queen in the north. No longer the little Stark lost, this Sansa is a stranger to the underestimating Littlefinger “If you didn’t know you’re and idiot. If you did know you’re my enemy”. The former ingenue unleashes her direwolf claws and gives the mockingbird a dressing down – yet is he still under her skin? She finally has a seat at the table, and a voice she is unafraid to use, yet she lies to Jon. I am hoping this is not a sign of Baelish still pulling the strings, but, rather, that the little dove has learned to keep her own council after past horrors.

Over in Bravos Arya is still hitting things with a stick. Who knew assassin training would be so dull? The play is an utterly repulsive parody of heartbreaking events, which stops just short of becoming too contemporary with its crassness. In this play within a play we are an audience full of Aryas, witnessing injustice with incredulity. I would have thought a girl would know not to question a man after all this time, yet perhaps it it the easiest way for a network to show a girl’s doubts?

Over on the Iron Islands Yara is bringing girl power to Pyke, bidding to become their first queen. I thought the newly armoured Theon might to play turncoat once more – all credit to Alfie Allen for making us wonder. Then mad bad Uncle Euron crashes the family party, with his drunken voice and a swagger to make skin crawl. A self-confessed murderer, whose only apology is that the drowned god didn’t rouse him fast enough to slaughter his niece and nephew. The rites of the Drowned God gave much needed insight into the culture of the islands -Dorne take note! However
I doubt the Mother of Dragons will be impressed by this wannabe emperor – the iron price is nothing when you pay in fire and blood.

What is a dragon queen to do with a betrayer who saved her life? Not much makes a Khaleesi cry, but the greyscale reveal leaves her teary. Jorah had to say goodbye to be forgiven: “I command you to heal yourself and then return to me”. With goosebumps a plenty she rides off into the sunset – it is good to she her on horseback again – Drogo would be proud.

In Mereen Tyrion continues to be dumbed down for cheap laughs, however Red Woman 2.0 redeems the scene with a calm power and the promise of danger waiting in her eyes. Vary’s discomfort in the face of her all-knowing gaze is extremely unsettling.

Finally we come to Bran. The big reveal of the Whitewalker origin narrative pales in comparison with the tragedy that follows. Bran is too impatient to wait for a guide, and wanders his vision quest alone, bringing the enemy to the gates. The slaughter is immediate. Summer dies for his master, Leaf blows herself and plenty of walkers to smithereens…and then Hodor, sweet blameless Hodor, is told via Bran’s vision to HOLD THE DOOR. Bran caused the sweet giant’s mind to implode with his time travel theatrics, then sentenced him to death with this last request; the order that made him and destroyed him.

Farewell sweet giant, you will be sorely missed.

Direwolves: Ghost lives but Summer dies. These Starks are irresponsible pet owners
Dragons: Still none. Drogon where art thou?
Nudity: Some rather odd theatrical exposure in Bravos
Deaths: Summer, Leaf and HOLD THE DOOR *cries into stuffed direwolf*

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6 EPISODE 4 – BOOK OF THE STRANGER

Brace yourselves people of the seven kingdoms, we may have just born witness to the best episode of all time. I kid ye not, it as if last week’s lackluster effort was simply to blind-sight fans before unveiling a surprise masterpiece.

Two Starks, In the same place. At the same time. Hugging. My emotions cannot take the joy, and surely someone we love will die pretty soon to pay for this brief moment of triumph, but right now I don’t care as JON AND SANSA ARE HUGGING. Plus Tormund and Brienne are my new favourite couple. Of course something had to break the Stark spell, and as usual, that something is Ramsay. Each ‘come and see’ built the horror, particularly when read in Jon’s dispassionate tones. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and it is Sansa, not Jon, who instigates the plot to wreak vengeance on the bastard of Bolton. Hang out your dire wolf flags – Sansa is taking back her birthright.

Indeed this episode was a smack in the teeth for all those critics who deem Thrones to be misogynistic. While Margaery picks delicate holes in the Sparrow’s highly crafted parable of an autobiography, Loras breaks under the strain. Take the sword away and the knight is dwarfed by his sister’s strength. The Iron islands glimpse of the week told a similar tale – Theon is broken in every way, longing only for home and family, whatever form that takes. His sister provides a chilly welcome until Theon explains he wants her, not himself, to rule. Well, obviously, Yara. He can’t look you in the eye, let alone fight you.

The only downer of the episode is that Tyrion continues to languish in Mereen devoid of all his usual wit. His political reasoning was sound and cunning, but I predict the slavers are a few steps ahead of our favourite dwarf in this game.

Tonight’s episode, though, belonged to Daenerys, the mother of dragons who does not need her children, or her advisers, to rescue her. The Khal’s grotesque threats echoed those of her late brother, a sure sign the Khal had signed his own death warrant. After she (literally) brought the house down, Dany’s cold yet fiery gaze as she emerged naked and goddess-like from the flames was triumphant. Those focusing on her nudity here have missed the point – this moment was not sexual. Hers was a stance of power, not vulnerability. Sorry Katniss, but we have a new girl on fire.

Dragons – None. This Khaleesi can save herself

Direwolves – Ghost remains silently scouting the wall with Jon. I didn’t see him, but I know he’s there, which makes me happy.

Deaths – Oh Osha. That wasn’t much of a Thrones return for you was it?

Nudity – The new Dothraki Goddess. Bow down muggles.

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6 – EPISODE 2 – HOME

Kit Harrington is the biggest liar in the seven kingdoms. Were he Pinocchio, his nose would reach all the way from the wall to Mereen. But there was more to this episode than Jon Snow’s resurrection (HE’S ALIVE), however it is difficult to recall what that ‘more’ is when jumping for joy and shrieking at the TV. Which I did not do. Obviously.

Aside from Lord Commander, Sansa has been the star of the season so far. Her transformation into a Catelyn-Cersei hybrid is thrilling. Her segment this episode was small, but her wry remarks on hearing that not only was her sister alive, but dressed as an urchin, were perfect. I also think it is important that Sansa’s saviour is not an armoured hero, but an armoured heroine.

Jamie’s interlude with the High Sparrow was intriguing. The Sparrow is a terrifying foe – a villain who believes himself the hero. Let us not forget Tommen, throne-holder du jour, who has surely signed his own death warrant by asking his mother for help. Cersei’s quiet rage combined with a recklessness born of the seer’s prophecy, make her even more deadly.

The Iron Islands finally made a reappearance, along with Balon (member of Tywin’s worst father’s of Westeros club) who exits soon after his entrance by the hand of the deliciously demented Euron .

Another parent meeting his maker this week was the turncoat Roose Bolton. I predicted that he would pay for underestimating his sadistic son, and their final embrace was a directiorial gem – I was sure one would die at the other’s hand, but for a second I did not know whose hands were clutching the knife. The less said about the demise of the deceased’s wife and newborn the better – they didn’t show the gore, but Ramsey’s expression was horror enough.

Arya is getting far better at pretending to be no-one, but before you give up the on the little Stark remember – needle remains hidden, as does her true self.

The Tyrion-is-a-Targaryen theory got a whole lot more credible this week, when our favourite dwarf showed us how to train a dragon. Tyrion’s dragon-charming childhood tale was so beautifully underplayed that I hung of his every word. As, apparently, did the dragons.

And so we come to the wall, where Tormund and Davos make a fearsome duo. Of course it does help that they have a giant (Wun Wun smash!). Davos’ pep talk to his former nemesis was unexpected and transfixing; the Onion Knight believes in people, not gods. Yet I fear Jon would still be stone cold if Melisandre’s incantations had not been followed a pious ‘please’.

HBO are the masters of delayed gratification – praise R’hllor that Ghost knew better than the disappointed crowd. Apparently dog still is man’s best friend, even after death.

Deaths- 5 (2 bad dads, one mother and baby, and one man who poked a giant.)

Direwolves – 1

Dragons – 2

Resurrections – 1!!!!!!!!

Nudity – None. This is Game of Thrones, right?

TYRION’S TOP 5 GAME OF THRONES MOMENTS

TWO DAYS UNTIL WESTEROS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL. To celebrate, today’s countdown features everyone’s favourite character- Tyrion Lannister. The witty heart of the show, man of the people even when the people hate him. Expert in wine drinking. Avid reader, slapper of Joffrey, and all around good guy.

If he dies we riot.

Educating Snow

The dwarf teaches the bastard that the world is wider than Winterfell.

The Bad Man Who Didn’t Fly

Trial by combat, child despots and an unlikely champion – watch out for the moment the Lannister pays his debts.

Blackwater

The speech to end all speeches. I defy anyone to remain unmoved be this rallying cry

Trial

Guilty of being a dwarf, but innocent of all crimes. Love that he fights back, hate that it changes nothing *cowers behind sofa*

Meeting of the Minds

The lion dwarf and the dragon mother. In the same room. Playing verbal chess. We can now die happy (unlike Tywin. Ha.)

View Daenerys’ top 5 moments here

View the Hound’s top 5 moments here

View Sansa’s top 5 moments here

View Jamie’s top 5 moments here

View Margaery’s top 5 moments here

View Cersei’s top 5 moments here

View Tywin’s top 5 moments here

View Catelyn Stark’s top 5 moments here

View Jorah’s top 5 moments here

View Samwell’s top 5 moments here

View Brienne’s top 5 moments here

View Ned’s top 5 moments here

View Arya’s top 5 moments here

 

JORAH MORMONT’S TOP FIVE GAME OF THRONES MOMENTS

ONE WEEK TO GO! The countdown is heating up like dragon-fire, so today we are sailing  across the narrow sea closer to Dany and her mythological trio (Drogon, and…the other two)  and featuring the ever loyal (well *almost*) Targaryen supporter, the man commonly subbed ‘sir friend-zone’ the Mormont heir himself, Sir Jorah.

THEFT PREVENTION

Like father like son, and Jorah’s tolerance of Viserys has gone up in flames – as, soon, will the prince himself. Couldn’t happen to a nicer psychopath.

DEFECTION

A man can turn his cloak, given the right khaleesi.

BLACK MAGIC

Escape stage right, rescued by a bear

BEARING GIFTS

Girls may like presents, dwarves are not so keen

GLADIATOR

His sword is strong his aim is true, you spurned him but he’ll die for you (just preferably not from the greyscale?)

View Daenerys’ top 5 moments here

View the Hound’s top 5 moments here

View Sansa’s top 5 moments here

View Jamie’s top 5 moments here

View Margaery’s top 5 moments here

View Cersei’s top 5 moments here

View Catelyn Stark’s top 5 moments here

CATELYN STARK’S TOP FIVE GAME OF THRONES MOMENTS

Only eight days until winter finally comes. In April. But as a Brit this seems oddly appropriate – who cares about the weather when the seven kingdoms are airing imminently anyway? Time for the countdown to feature one for the many much missed Starks that Mr Martin has brutally slaughtered with his pen. The mother of direwolves – Catelyn Stark.

 

Lion Tamer

As a Tully, as a Stark, as a wronged mother – Catelyn is as a dwarf’s worst knightman

Lady Knight

Two warrior women – one uses weapons, another, words.

Snow

The thorn in her side, the flaw in her masterpiece

Make Them Pay

Hell hath no fury…

Vengeance

With her last breaths she fights for her son and King,  she dies for him, and wreaks what minor vengeance is within her grasp *sob*

View Daernery’s top 5 moments here

View the Hound’s top 5 moments here

View Sansa’s top 5 moments here

View Jamie’s top 5 moments here

View Margaery’s top 5 moments here

View Cersei’s top 5 moments here

View Tywin’s top 5 moments here